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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Fourth of July to all of my American friends! I hope that everyone had a great day of celebration especially in light of the news about North Korea. But this isn't meant to be a political blog so I'll stop right there, I'm sure to all of your relief! :D

We spent the day at my in-laws beautiful home with them and my sister and brother-in-law. We hung out around the pool and had a great late lunch. As always, it was a great time! Then bad weather started moving in so we came home.

I made the comment to Raymond that, although I always enjoy family gatherings, they are hard for me because Drew should be there. My mind just focuses on that and his missing presence. Holidays will never be the same for me since Drew died on Easter. I just don't know how to express the emptiness that I feel when I think of him. I miss him just doesn't sound emphatic enough but that's what it boils down to. He would have been 4 months old this week and we as his family should be enjoying him; instead, we're waiting for his headstone to arrive.

And on the headstone front...we stopped by the cemetary today before heading out and they had poured the foundation!! That means that the actual headstone should be installed very soon since the monument company calls the cemetary to tell them when to pour the foundation. Maybe it's sick but I really can't wait for it. It's a tribute to our son that will be around much longer than he lived. People will have a tangible reminder of how much he was loved. After that's done, there's nothing else to do for Drew and that makes me so sad.

I keep trying to work on Drew's scrapbook. I'll get all motivated, get everything ready and then freeze up or start crying. I really want to get it done but I think it's best if I just put the stuff away for now. You know, no one really makes scrapbooking products relating to the death of a baby. All of the papers and embellishments are so happy and optimistic. :( Same thing as with his baby book but I did manage to complete as much of that as was applicable.

Let's see...what else? I got my hair cut while I was in Texas. I guess it's about 10 inches shorter now. It's much lighter and cooler, good for the warm weather. I also updated Elizabeth's website. All new pictures and a slideshow for her upcoming birthday.

On a brighter note, two of my favorite former Sacramento Kings players will be joining the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets! Bobby Jackson and Peja Stojakovic should be official members soon! Woo-hoo! It's like a little taste of home for me since we lived in Sacramento for 6 years and attended our fair share of Kings games. Even though these guys will be here now, I'm still a die-hard Kings fan and that probably won't ever change. (For those of you who don't know, I'm talking about NBA teams!)

And on a MUCH brighter note, Baby Audrey is home!! Congratulations to the Miller family on having their little Princess where she belongs.

4 comments:

Kylie's Nana said...

Loved Elizabeth's slide show. What a treasure she must be for you!! The Rainbow of Hope website is fabulous and such a great--and needed--resource for CDH families. Kylie is almost 2 1/2 and I have never found anyone who asks about her defect who has ever heard of CDH-even those with some medical background.

Lori said...

Hi sweetie! I Love and miss you! I watched Elizbeth's slideshow. What wonderful parents you are! I never spent too much time on pics of my kids due to working full time and going to school. I really feel guilty about a lot of things that I missed out on with them!

I love the new pics of Raymond with Drew, and you, Elizabeth and Drew-beautiful beyond words.It is very hard not to miss him so very much, huh!The pain you must still feel.

You would love the mom I am talking to know-her little boy went to be with the Lord last Monday after 4 long, hard months. I know she would not mind me sharing a little of her story with you.

Maybe I could give her this link to your site, as it might help her to feel more at peace with the decision she had to make-somewhat like yours. Let me know, my dear friend and sister in the Lord. Take care! Lori (micronurse@sbcglobal.net)

Kathy McC said...

I know what you mean about the scrapbooking dilema. I put together a book for the two girls that I lost, and I couldn't find anything that was really appropriate for losing a child. Not a big surprise, but a bummer none the less.

I *did* find lots of stuff relating to angels and sweet baby and things like that, so I pieced together what I could with what I found.

It took me several months after I lost my second baby to get up the courage to put the book together. But I am glad I did it. It helped me a bit to heal and now I have everything in one place so when I feel especially sad, I can sit alone and flip through the pages.

Love E's website...

Carole said...

Jana,
I don't know if they have scrapbooking products here or not...but this site has baby books that deal with the loss of a child and special sections...etc.

http://www.aplacetoremember.com/mall/allProds.asp

~Carole