Happy early birthday Elizabeth!

Happy early birthday to my Baby Girl!

Elizabeth won't be three until August 24 but over the last 2 days, she's received her main birthday gift. As many people know, she's a Nemo FREAK. Loves any and everything Nemo. So we had the idea to get an aquarium (plus Raymond is also a fish lover and has always wanted one). So we got a 20 gallon tank yesterday and we now have 27 fish living in it. And my poor Betta all alone. :( I briefly entertained the thought of doing a saltwater aquarium so E. could have her very own Nemo and Dory but quickly vetoed that because of the upkeep. So we have a freshwater tank with a couple of fish who will only eat frozen shrimp. Yuck! E. did pick out one fish this morning; a large fantail goldfish named, what else, Nemo.

Last night after we had it set up but before we got fish, she exclaimed, "It's BEAUUUUUUUUUUUUTIFUL!" All of her fish are "beauuuuuuuuuuutiful," too. :D I can't even tell you the kinds that we got aside from a dragon fish and a couple of angel fish. They should all live together fairly peacefully but Nemo might have to have his own place. We'll see. It's made E. so darn happy so it was definitely worth it. She pulls her stepstool over to the tank and just talks to the fish for long periods of time. That's quite amazing because her attention span is usually, oh, about 5 seconds at most. Anyway, that's her early b-day present.

It has been 100+ degrees here for a week and will be for the next week. It sucks. I hate hot weather. I hope it cools off before Elizabeth's birthday party that's outside in August. Wishful thinking, I know.

For those following our plumbing saga, here's an update. The plumbers couldn't fix the bathtub until we had a new hot water heater. The bottom had rotted out of our old one (!!!). So we got that fixed and the plumbers came back to work on the tub. They found it wasn't actually a foundation leak which was good news so they didn't have to jackhammer up our floor. It was a pipe under the tub though so the tile around the bathtub, the bathtub and the carpet were ripped out. In the process, there was extensive damage to our nice wood paneling and cabinets. So now the bathroom is a mess until an insurance adjuster gets out here on Wednesday to look at things. We'll go on from there but hey, we're getting a nearly completely new master bathroom regardless. I've already picked out the new tile for the floor and wall around the bathtub. :) We even have the new fixtures and they're beautiful! Here's a picture of things while in the process of being fixed. The only difference now is that the carpet is gone as is the entire tiled portion of the wall.



I want to share something that Elizabeth made the day that Drew died. She did this at Aikman's End Zone while Raymond and I were spending time with Drew before his death.



Aren't they sweet? She made one for her and one for Drew.

I received an e-mail from Aytekin today. The pain that he is feeling is so evident, I wish that I could make it better. Unfortunately, the grief is something you just have to go through (and I obviously still am). I know that our boys are up there with all of their other CDH friends looking over their families and CDH kids. I truly believe that.

Mert's death has really thrown me. I just never really doubted that he would do well after hearing that a patch was not needed for his repair. It's brought everything back from when Drew first died. I know that I've said it before but it's not getting easier. I honestly feel like I coped better immediately after his death than I am now. Probably because the shock is starting to wear off. Those first few days after Drew's death, I was in a fog. I don't remember much of it. But with Mert's passing, I'm starting to remember and feel more and more. I'm just so damn angry that another baby is gone because of CDH. Which brings me to another point...

President Bush is expected to veto some legislation regarding stem cell research soon. This issue is being overshadowed with all of the current turmoil in the Middle East but this is an important issue. When I was pregnant with Drew, I found some research done on sheeps that indicated that stem cells can help fetuses with CDH while in-utero. So why in the hell are we not exploring it?! Politics. That's the bottom line. I'm a fairly pro-life person and even I can see the benefit of stem cells. Maybe my dad wouldn't have to live with diabetes. Maybe my son would be alive. I'm sorry, this issue is becoming very important to me for obvious reasons.

I sat down to watch TV tonight after E. went to bed. I automatically flipped to TLC because, well, it's Monday and not much is on and TLC usually has "Untold Stories of the ER." Yeah, I'm a dork...so what?! Instead there was another show on about the Duggar family. The one that has 16 children. I think parts of their story are admirable however, I couldn't stop my negative feelings. They have 16 healthy children (I know that they have suffered at least 1 miscarriage and this is not meant to minimize that loss for it *is* a great loss) and my son and all of these other children die. Sixteen healthy pregnancies and healthy babies and I couldn't have more that one. And some of my friends haven't even had one. It pisses me off.

And with that, I'm done because I'm still pissed off.