CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES

Thursday, September 07, 2006

I'm going to do it...

I cannot keep a secret when it comes to myself. I just can't. Ask anyone who knows me. I can keep other people's secrets just fine but not my own. I was not going to share this for quite a while but I am now (with Raymond's blessing).

Have you guessed yet?




It's not that difficult to guess.




I promise, it's not.




If you haven't guessed by now then I'll just tell you.




Yes, we are expecting a VERY surprise baby in the spring. I am feeling very ambivalent right now. We had planned on another one, just not this soon after Drew's death. We were both caught a bit off guard. On the one hand, I'm very happy. On the other, I'm terrified. More terrified than any words can fully express.

Now for some details.

I had an ultrasound to date the pregnancy a few weeks ago. We saw a perfect egg sac and embryo. We were also able to see and hear a heartbeat. It's way too early to know if anything is wrong which is why I was going to hold off on announcing the news until after the ultrasound midway through the pregnancy. But, like I said, I cannot keep a secret regarding myself and um, anyone who saw me would know fairly soon. I seem to show earlier and earlier with each subsequent pregnancy. And I don't want people to think that I'm just fat. :D

Oh yes, details. I am 8.5 weeks along. My due date still kind of freaks me out. I fully realize that it's only an approximation but I was only 2 days overdue with E. so based on history, I give birth fairly close to the due date. My due date is April 16, 2007. Scroll down to my earlier post today and look at Drew's headstone. I'll wait.




Yes, my due date is the one year anniversary of his date of death. I'm really trying to view it as a sign from Drew that April won't be as sad as it could be for our family. There will now be some joy as well as sadness. Still freaks me out though.

Now you know why I was sick when we were camping. I spoke to Raymond's Aunt Donna on the phone and we talked about pregnancies and I felt like such a liar because I didn't say anything so that helped me make my decision to tell. I'm sorry, Donna. :(

I have a doctor's appointment on September 18 with a doctor who will do VBAC's (difficult to find in Oklahoma). I'm really hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after ceaserian--however you spell that) and should be a good candidate since E. was an uncomplicated vaginal birth. I will not be going back to my perinatologist unless it's for diagnostic tests. He will not handle my OB care. There are many reasons for this, none of which matter to anyone but me and my family. :)

So there it is. Surprise baby on the way. I'm going out-of-town tomorrow so I don't know when I'll be able to reply to e-mails but send 'em anyway!

25 comments:

Katrina said...

Oh Jana, congrats! I am sitting here in tears. So happy for you guys. I am praying so hard!! And I know Drew is watching over this little one. HUGS!!!

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOO happy for you guys! I can totally understand your feelings you are having. I will be thinking of you and praying for you!

Jamie
Momsescape

Emma said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It's most definately a sign (the EDD) ;)

((((((((HUGS)))))))))

V said...

Congratulations! Very happy for you, I hope all goes well.

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for all of you guys. This is great news! Keep us updated.
Christina and Kaylee

Catherine said...

Congratulations and best wishes!

Anonymous said...

I kinda thought something was going on when Ray kept 'going to the doctor' with you. I am happy for you both, although another child can never replace one that is not here, they sure do multiply our Joy!

Kathy McC said...

Eeeeeeeeekk!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you. Hoping for the absolute best.

Shawn C said...

Oh Jana, congratulations!
It's great news!

Crystal W said...

OH JANA!!! I am SO SUPER EXCITED for YOU ALL!! Seriously! I will pray that everything continues to be perfect with this PG

RhondaC said...

Oh I'm so happy for you. I wanted to cry for you when I read the news. Maybe E. knew something when she was telling you she needs a sister not so very long ago. You will be in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Shawna said...

CONGRATULATIONS JANA & RAYMOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know this has got to be such a shocker but look at this way, maybe this is Drew's way of saying it's okay to keep living and keeping moving forward. You know he wants you to be happy and have a full family, he'll always be there and now you'll have one more to add to the joy. I am so amazingly happy for you!! Here's to a happy and HEALTHY 40 and VERY healthy baby!!! (((HUGS))) LOVE YA!!

Jengraycat said...

Jana, I am so happy to hear your news. Congratulations and I will keep my fingers crossed for you that everything is as it should be!

Lots of hugs to you! Take care of yourself mama!

Crystal (Lovebean06) said...

Jana, Congrats!! I am so happy for you! I am praying so very hard for you!

Lauren said...

Congratulations, Jana! I am so thrilled for you! I'll be thinking of you every step of the way! I can't wait to see this precious little one!

Love Lauren
Avery's Mommy 3/17/06 - 4/3/06 LCDH

Carole said...

Jana...I am so happy for you guys. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know that Drew is watching over you and smiling.
With Love,
Carole

Anonymous said...

Jana,
I am so happy for you and your family and I wish you only the best. I was overcome with joy when I heard about your exciting news. It gave me chills. Little Drew sent you a big sign!!! Here's to a healthy and happy 9 months. Good luck on your VBAC. I had a succesful VBAC and it was a breeze. Sending you lots of positive vibes. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Cheri
Sept 9th Mommy/MomtoKandK

Anonymous said...

congratulations!!

BabyDansMommy said...

Congratulations!!!

Krista said...

Congrats Jana!

Anonymous said...

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW you guys SO deserve this happiness and joy. I am sure this baby comes with Drew's blessing. Take care xoxoxoxo

Aunt Donna said...

OK Jana, is this ironic or what? I just felt like I needed to check out the site at 10:00 at night. Ha, usually in bed. I forgive you for not telling me on the phone. I just had a feeling something was going on. The tone of your voice. Congrats. God is good and works in mysterious ways. Drew is watching over you too. I will talk at you when you get home. Love to all, Aunt Donna

sue said...

OMG jana! congratulations!!!

Tasha said...

I haven't been on here in a while so I just now found out you are pregnant! I have tears in my eyes! I am sooo excited and happy for you! I feel this is a blessing that you really deserve and need. I have faith that everything will go just fine with this pregnancy. Nobody will ever replace Drew but now there is somebody else who will give you so much joy. It will be wonderful to know that this little baby already has a big brother looking out for him in Heaven! Congrats!!!!! :-)

Praying for you,
Tasha

Anonymous said...

Wow Jana! Congratulations! I'll be praying for a healthy baby. What a beautiful way to think of your due date as a sign from Drew. I totally believe it. Good luck with everything and know that I think of you and Drew all the time!
<3 Lissette