Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Where does the time go?!

1) There are not enough hours in the day to get all that I want to do done.

2) Carson will be 4 weeks old tomorrow. He's growing up too fast!!

3) Elizabeth will be 4 years old in August. Where did my baby girl go?!

4) Drew has been gone for over 1 year. How is that possible?!

5) I've been married almost 10.5 years. Whoa. Did you know our Senior High School Prom was our first date? (I know that Ivy knows that since she's known me, well, forever basically!)

6) I need to update my CDH links. I have more kids to add (survivors). I apologize to the parents, see #1. That is my goal for tomorrow night.

7) Probably most importantly, I've not posted about a lot of CDH milestones--birthdays and angel days. And I feel horrible for it but I *did* remember them all but see #1. Today is Connor's Angel Day; Amanda and family are in my thoughts.
So anyone who knows me knows that I'm bad about answering e-mail. I mean, I'm HORRIBLE. I procrastinate. I decided to start tackling it this evening. I began with over 900 messages and am down to 703. I tend to not even delete spam, I just "overlook" it. Now it's coming back to bite me in the ass. All of this to say that if you get a reply from me for an e-mail that you wrote me, oh, months or even years ago, don't find it too strange. :D But I'm done for tonight; I got lots of replies done, yay for me!

My husband bought a boat. An old boat, but a boat nonetheless. I'm actually very ok with this--there are 4 seats and 4 people in our family. We like to go camping and go to the area lakes. R. loves to fish, as does E. I enjoy it but don't LOVE it. I'm sure that Carson will grow up to love it as well so it was a good, not really necessary (i.e. luxury) purchase for our family. We're going to test it out on Saturday. Now, my thing is (and he doesn't know this yet--that's what I wanted to tell you earlier R., before I forgot) that the next largish purchase should be MINE. I want a new couch. I love the color and style of ours but the fabric sucks. Just a tip--microfiber is the devil. It doesn't live up to it's promises and started going downhill even PRE-kids. So he gets a boat, I get a couch. Sounds fair, right?!

Have I said thank you to you all for the kind words and just all around greatness you've had for my family? If I haven't, I've been thinking it. I think it every day. We're a very lucky family to have so many people who care and please know how appreciated it is. It brings me to tears quite often. (No, this is not hormones talking either.) So a great big THANK YOU to you all, give yourselves a big hug from my family.

I feel as though I'm going crazy at times. Carson has this very intense stare and there are times that he looks directly in my eyes, not breaking eye contact for over 1 minute, and he looks so much like Drew. Do you think that Drew is looking through Carson's eyes? I know that sounds completely improbable and crazy but I feel that way. Now my husband is going to have me committed. I'm really not THAT crazy, I know that it's Carson but dang, there are moments when I just know it's Drew looking at me. Hey, if it makes me feel better to believe that, I can, right? Carson is Carson and Drew was Drew but I just feel that there may be a strong connection between the 2 of them. Ok, I'll stop now. Writing about this for everyone to read makes me REALLY feel nuts.

I haven't been able to go to the cemetery since well before Carson's birth. It's not my fault, I WANT to go in the worst possible way. The city has torn up the road that leads to the entrance of the cemetery and I can't get in. :( I'm getting pissy about it now because they don't seem to be in any hurry to fix the road. When I say the road is torn up, I mean there is NO road, they are totally redoing it. I think I'll call the city tomorrow and see when I can expect it to be finished. I don't feel right unless I get out there at least once a week. Get your act together City of Edmond!! I also need to call the headstone company and have them add Carson's name. These things really just sadden me now--my anger is gone. It's not right that I should have to think about adding a brother's name to another brother's headstone. (Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself. It really is difficult for me to think about and do. Hence some of my procrastination.)

How about an Elizabeth funny? They always make me feel better. When Carson starts "talking" (love those baby coos and gurgles), E. says, "Carson's talking about how pretty I am, isn't he Mama?!" Every single time he makes a noise that's not crying, she says that. Where she came up with it, I have no idea but it's so cute. I always assure her that yes, he's talking about how pretty she is. I need to video her saying it--the inflection of her voice is what makes it so priceless. Oh, and I updated her website.

Carson has his first professional photo shoot Saturday morning. Wish me luck. E. hated having her pictures taken until this past year. I think (hope!) that he'll be better. But in the meantime, here are a couple of new pictures of my growing boy--the man of a thousand faces as Daddy calls him, Little One as E. and Mommy call him.

Put up your dukes!

Um, what is this think in my carseat with me?


Ivy said...

What a sweet baby!!! He reminds me so much of Elizabeth in the carseat picture. Can't wait to meet him:-)


Melanie said...

He is so handsome Jana! Kinda makes me wanna have another one like nowish. ;)

I can't believe he is 4 weeks. That is crazy!