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Monday, June 18, 2007

My latest peeve

I have a lot of them. I mean A LOT--just ask my family.

This one has been bothering me for a while and I kind of feel bad about posting it because I know what's being said is meant to be supportive but it's getting under my skin at the moment.

The phrase, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost a child/if it happened to me," annoys me.

You know what you'd do? You'd 1) go on living, albeit a changed person, or 2) you'd commit suicide (not the best option). Let's hope that no one else has to endure the loss of a child but the reality is, it happens. It sucks and it hurts like nothing else. I'm worried about how *I'm* dealing with it, I don't need to know that you don't think you could do it.

Continuing on with life after losing a child does not make one strong. It's called "survival," and it's not always easy or fun. I want to get back to where I live my life and enjoy it for me but the truth is, at this point, I'm living for my kids that are still here. That's it. They bring me so much joy and there's no way I would want to miss out on that.

I'm no stronger than anyone else and it embarrasses me when people tell me how strong I am. Because trust me, I'm not. If you could live an hour in my head you'd realize that.

Enough for now. I apologize if I've hurt anyone, that was not my intention. Carson needs to eat now and Elizabeth needs to at least put some panties on!

3 comments:

*Darcie* said...

I totally agree with you Jana!! It drives me nuts when people tell you how strong you are, but on the inside all you are doing is crying! I think I just have a strong front up. What else can you do?

Gina said...

I am sorry if I have ever said anything like that. I try to be careful with my words so I don't offend or upset.

Carole said...

I HATE when people say that. It's like the underlying thing is...'wow that sucks it happened to you'. Ugh. So wish I had a beating stick sometimes.
~Carole